Hilarious Jokes Your Best Man's Speech Needs

Comedian holding up a magnify glass
As best man you will need to be funny, hilarious, you have to bring the house down, so no pressure!

Lucky for you there is help out there, this incredible post will give you loads of free best man jokes, plus other jokes which you may be able to slip into your set, I mean speech.

First of all lets try and cover the funniest best man jokes (in our opinion, other jokes may be funnier):

Best Man Funnies

The groom has told me that they are going to Wales for their Honeymoon, well his exact words to me was "as soon as we're married, I'm going to Bangor for a week".

A best man's speech should be like a mini-skirt, short enough to keep everyone's attention, longer enough to cover the essentials.

The groom, he's witty, good looking, caring, thoughtful, honest, char...char..ming, sorry I can't read his writing.

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's been an incredible day, everything has gone amazingly well, the bride looks draw droopingly beautiful "I am speechless.....", no literally, I have lost my speech.


I have just met the chief bridesmaid and I can confirm, I won't be going with tradition.

For those of you who are not internet savvy or or can't get signal, let me give you an update on the Bride's facebook account. She has changed her status to "married" which both her parents have disliked and within the last 15 minutes 27 blokes have poked her.

What's the difference between your in-laws and out-laws, out-laws are wanted.

How many brides does it take to change a light bulb, ONE because it's her day and no one else's.


Now as you are well aware, you need to be funny and other jokes, not just married related or groom bashing should also be included.

Below, I have put together some of the Edinburgh Fringe's funniest one liners and jokes which you may be able to slip into your speech, to make it more rounded.

Other Jokes

"I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again." Tim Vine

 "As a kid I was made to walk the plank, well we couldn't afford a dog." Gary Delaney

 "My old man used to say to me always fight fire with fire, and that's why he no longer works for the Fire brigade." Harry Hill

 "I've been married for 10 years, I haven't made a decision for seven." Jason Cook

"The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves". Alun Cochrun

"Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse...but that's enough about Kanye West." Stewart Francis

"I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat, ginger kid." Jack Whitehall

 "What's the difference between a 'hippo' and a 'Zippo'? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter." Masai Graham


Every August the Edinburgh Fringe Festival welcomes hundreds of funny people who perform hoping for a big break, this is a very popular festival, so book early. If you can't get to Edinburgh book a comedy club for your stag do.

We sell loads of comedy club tickets all over the country and this a great stag night time activity, also a great place to pick up tips and jokes.

If you have any great best man jokes, fill in the comments box below and share, don't be greedy.

Good luck!!

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