Tuesday, 25 August 2015

Hilarious Jokes Your Best Man's Speech Needs

Comedian holding up a magnify glass
As best man you will need to be funny, hilarious, you have to bring the house down, so no pressure!

Lucky for you there is help out there, this incredible post will give you loads of free best man jokes, plus other jokes which you may be able to slip into your set, I mean speech.

First of all lets try and cover the funniest best man jokes (in our opinion, other jokes may be funnier):

Best Man Funnies

The groom has told me that they are going to Wales for their Honeymoon, well his exact words to me was "as soon as we're married, I'm going to Bangor for a week".

A best man's speech should be like a mini-skirt, short enough to keep everyone's attention, longer enough to cover the essentials.

The groom, he's witty, good looking, caring, thoughtful, honest, char...char..ming, sorry I can't read his writing.

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's been an incredible day, everything has gone amazingly well, the bride looks draw droopingly beautiful "I am speechless.....", no literally, I have lost my speech.

I have just met the chief bridesmaid and I can confirm, I won't be going with tradition.

For those of you who are not internet savvy or or can't get signal, let me give you an update on the Bride's facebook account. She has changed her status to "married" which both her parents have disliked and within the last 15 minutes 27 blokes have poked her.

What's the difference between your in-laws and out-laws, out-laws are wanted.

How many brides does it take to change a light bulb, ONE because it's her day and no one else's.

Now as you are well aware, you need to be funny and other jokes, not just married related or groom bashing should also be included.

Below, I have put together some of the Edinburgh Fringe's funniest one liners and jokes which you may be able to slip into your speech, to make it more rounded.

Other Jokes

"I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again." Tim Vine

"As a kid I was made to walk the plank, well we couldn't afford a dog." Gary Delaney

"My old man used to say to me always fight fire with fire, and that's why he no longer works for the Fire brigade." Harry Hill

"I've been married for 10 years, I haven't made a decision for seven." Jason Cook

"The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves". Alun Cochrun

"Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse...but that's enough about Kanye West." Stewart Francis

"I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat, ginger kid." Jack Whitehall

"What's the difference between a 'hippo' and a 'Zippo'? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter." Masai Graham

Every August the Edinburgh Fringe Festival welcomes hundreds of funny people who perform hoping for a big break, this is a very popular festival, so book early. If you can't get to Edinburgh book a comedy club for your stag do.

We sell loads of comedy club tickets all over the country and this a great stag night time activity, also a great place to pick up tips and jokes.

If you have any great best man jokes, fill in the comments box below and share, don't be greedy.

Good luck!!

Thursday, 13 August 2015

Attention Stags: Bournemouth Is Calling!

Ultimate Bournemouth Stag Do Survival Guide
Have you been passed the privilege of being the best man? As well as delivering a cracking speech, top of your agenda is planning an epic stag do that will go down in the history books.

There’s plenty of stag do destinations to choose from, but none like the unique coastal party town of Bournemouth.

This cosmopolitan party town has everything you need for a stag do set for success.

This epic town has it all: miles of golden beaches, a buzzing atmosphere and amazing nightlife.

There’s plenty to see and do in this beachside fun spot, so to help you and your stag group get the absolute most out of your weekend, we’ve put together The Ultimate Bournemouth Stag Do Survival Guide

When it comes to organising a stag do, maximum fun and minimum planning is the key. Our survival guide tells you all you need to know to make for a stag weekend to remember. 

With everything from the need to know, from packing your Bournemouth backpack to daytime activities, nightlife and getting around, the Bournemouth guide is bursting with info.

Ever wondered how many tourists visit the town every year? 4.7 million visitors descend on Bournemouth each year and it’s easy to see why. When it comes to getting to know Bournemouth, there is plenty to keep you occupied.

With over seven miles of seafront and a wide range of bars and restaurants, there are plenty of things to see and do to keep your group out of mischief throughout your stag do break.

This popular coastal destination is a bustling hub of activity with countless experiences on offer.  From an adrenaline pumping quad biking experience, to bubble football and Rage Buggies, Bournemouth has plenty to offer groups looking for an ultimate stag do experience. Check out our Bournemouth packages to find out more about what’s on offer.

Whether you’re in pursuit of adrenaline-fuelled activities or the best pubs to enjoy a relaxing pint, this guide includes all the info you need for your Bournemouth-based adventure.

Perhaps you want to start the night with a bustling bar crawl, or head for a flutter at one of Bournemouth’s casinos? Whatever your idea of a perfect night out, this guide has it covered.

Whatever you’re looking for – from comedy clubs to live music, nightclubs and strip clubs – this guide has all you need to impress the groom and your stag do group.

Find out about local brew, top destinations across the city and those all-important emergency details in case you need them.

Our Ultimate Stag Do Survival Guide is all you need to make the groom’s last weekend as a bachelor as epic as this amazing destination.


Tuesday, 11 August 2015

It's Just Plane Safety Boys

You've just arrived by coach with the lads into Gatwick airport. As it's a stag do, the beers have been flowing like the water fountains in Rome, so it's a quick check in / bag drop off before hitting the bar in the departure lounge, right?

Before you know it, getting to your seat on the plane is quite the struggle, you're the last ones to get on the plane and your creating quite a stir.

You may remember a plane journey like this, I certainly did a few like this when I was younger, however the airline industry as a whole are clamping down on passengers getting too squiffy before getting on a flight ("squiffy?" makes me sound a bit like Boris Johnson!).

Ryanair have even gone one step further and stopped passengers taking any duty free booze onboard flights from the UK to Ibiza! So if you have bought duty free booze it will have to be surrendered at the gate, put into a suitable item of cabin luggage, tagged and put into the hold free of charge. If you only have a plastic bag then you will need to dispose of the alcohol in the bins provided.

The CAA have advised us that's it's actually a criminal offence to be drunk on a flight, and these measures have been brought in for the safety of other passenger and the air crew, which is completely understandable.

Each year there are quite a few stories in the press relating to drunken passengers, Brits being pinned to the tarmac in Tenerife by police or group members getting arrested onboard as soon as they touch down at their destination. You have paid a lot of money for your holiday and probably looked forward to it for half a year, so why spoil it?

Did you know that...

One drink in the air is equal to three drinks on the ground, wow! Is it because the air is thinner in the clouds or is it because onboard at 30,000 feet a distinct lack of oxygen get's to your brain, my thoughts are with the latter.

If the cabin crew / captain decide that your behaviour is a threat to other passengers then the airline has the right to land before you get to your destination and have you escorted off the plane by police. This then can lead to huge fines and even prison sentences.

There are actually no age restrictions on drinking on a flight and it's down to the airline whether to serve you alcohol or not.

On the flip side, if you fly a scheduled airline such as BA, the drinks onboard within reason are included in your airfare (please check with your airline as not all scheduled airlines offer this perk).

Some airlines do not serve alcohol onboard and are called dry airlines; these airlines include Kuwait Airways, Saudi Arabian Airlines, Iran Air, but I don't suppose you will be visiting these countries on your stag do, however, I could be wrong!

So to round this all up, my advice is; if you have the need for mass drinking wait until you get to your destination, obviously you can have a pint or two before getting onboard (this may change in the future, so be careful) but whatever you do, don't get drunk, anti social or abusive before or during your flight or you can kiss good bye to your stag do.

It's nice to be nice people.

The above details and facts are correct at time of publish however, airlines change their terms and conditions all the time so it's always best to check these details before you book your flight / fly.

Thursday, 6 August 2015

Bubble Football Inflates

If you have never heard of Bubble Football also known as Zorb Football before, then I have a question for you, where on earth have you been?

Since early last year when an Italian Bubble Football video went viral (see below), this activity became the next must do stag activity.

The idea is to run as fast as you can at your opponent, knock him off his feet, steal the ball and score a goal; easier said then done!

Bubble football is loads of fun, it's not always easy to knock someone over but it's loads of fun trying. I had a knack of getting people to bounce, which helped me win a few games especially 'last man standing', if you would like to know my secret knack, ask me via my comments box below.

"Why is it such a fantastic stag do activity then?"

I am just getting to that, Bubble Football is a fantastic stag do activity because it combines football, competition, mucking about with your mates, can be done almost anywhere and the whole group can get involved - with very little hanging around.

It's also great value for money, from £30.00* per person for which can be classed as a half day's activity that's more spending money left in your skyrocket (skyrocket = pocket, I'm just trying to sound 'street').

Go to our website for details:

Just Bubble Football

Packages that include Bubble football

Men in a sports hall standing by bubble football suits / Zorb Football Suits

What's usually included?

With DesignaVenture (not sure about other websites), we include the venue**, the Bubble / Zorb suits, referee and footballs.

Once you have played a couple games of football and want to try something different there are games such as last man standing, bulldog etc. to compete in; to win, you basically have to stay on your feet.

Who invented Bubble / Zorb Football?

Well according to a couple of website sources two Norwegian guys by the name of Henrik Elvestad and Johan Golden created the game in 2012 to play on their Norwegian TV show, Golden Goal.

In 2013 when the above YouTube video went viral in the UK, Google was alight with searches for zorb / bubble football.

Will Bubble Football deflate?

Only slightly, I'm not sure it will reach the dizzy heights of last year with internet searches going from  nothing to Millions within a couple of weeks however, it will always be a fantastic stag activity and will sit happily in the top 10 popular stag activities.

*Price correct when this post was published.
**Usually a football sports centre with all weather pitches, changing rooms, reception and a bar!